This is one of those honest/frustrated mommy posts, but we are having some serious struggles over here that I either need advice, empathy, or just need a place to vent! We are 8 months old now and are STILL struggling with the naptime thing. She just fights it and fights it even though I know she's completely exhausted. I've spent so far over 2 hours in the room rocking, feeding, bouncing or doing whatever trick I can to get her to sleep. And i've spent over another 2 hours (broken up) listening to some extremely intense crying (you know because of the whole trying to "cry it out" business). Believe me I try it, she can just go forever!
I feel like I spend SO much time out of my days at home worrying about her napping, to the point that i'm about to lose my mind! And the hard thing is that when I'm home with her and not at work I really want it to be quality time that we get to spend together, but somehow I find myself stressing out and spending the whole time obsessing over these naps! I really don't know how much more venting Derek can take- believe me he gets alot! :) I'm just struggling with those strong feelings of guilt/inadequacy that i'm sure every mom has at some point- but really what kind of mom just can't get thier kid to sleep!? (Cause don't worry her dad NEVER seems to have a problem with it.) And how can you sit and look at that chubby, swollen, pouty, little face in the monitor and not feel horrible for making her suffer in there?! (video monitor- i'm beginning to think it was a mistake to get for this reason alone!)
So ya that's our struggles, I know half the problem is that she doesn't have a regular schedule because I GET to be at work... But advice please!!! About how long/how many naps are kids supposed to be getting around this time, cause I think our problem is that she is just TOO TIRED. She does ok at night (goes to bed around 9ish, but wakes up pretty early like 7:30). We're lucky if she goes down for an hour in the morning, and i'm pretty sure she has gotten afternoon naps in about 10 times since she was 3 months old...
Sorry for venting... just feeling like a crappy mom right now for getting so frustrated and upset at this cute little face! Your really nice if you read this far!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Help!!!
Posted by Jess and Derek at 5:07 PM
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6 comments:
Oh my gosh Jess!! I know this all to well! You are not a bad mom! Avery was a horrible napped, half hour 45 min max. It drove me. Crazy because I needed some me time. There is a book called healthy sleep habits, healthy baby or something like that. I didn't read all of it but I started putting Avery down for bed earlier, like 7, sometimes 6:30. It made the world of difference, she now takes a 2-3 hour nap. Your baby is exhausted, try putting her down earlier and see if that helps. Don't feel like a bad mom, you are probably exhausted too and tiredness doesn't help either. Hang in there.
I'm sorry Jess! Matthew had a hard time sleeping at night around the same age, and I know how it feels! I'm sure no moms feel like they are experts at all, but we only know what works for us and our babies.
I use the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Babies" book and it has really worked for my kids. The nice thing about it is that you can just read the section for your baby's age and you don't have to read the whole book unless you are interested in the other topics. It lays out a nice general schedule for how much sleep most babies that age need. Anyway, like Annalee said above, it suggests earlier bedtimes and only a few hours of being awake before you put them down for a nap again. If your baby isn't overtired then they will fall asleep easily within a time window. I know it has worked for me and a lot of people I know, so that is my advice!
There is so much information out there, and so many other babies to compare yours with, but I know you'll be able to figure out what works for you guys. Good luck!
First of all...RELAX!!! You are not a bad mom for not being able to get your baby to sleep. And you are not a bad mom for getting frustrated. All moms get frustrated and there are many many moms who can't get their baby to sleep. I was one of those when Emery was a baby and like Derek, Court seemed to have no problem at all getting her to sleep. I'm going to have to agree with the other 2 moms. I have not read the book they talked about, but I talked to my pediatrician and he said basically the same thing. Put her to bed earlier. You'll be amazed how big of a difference this will make. She's overly tired so when you try to put her down for a nap she can't relax enough to fall asleep because she gets too worked up about it. I would skip the "cry it out" method for now. She's still a little young for that. Try that one again when she's around 1. However, if you're getting frustrated with her just put her down, leave the room, close the door, and do not turn on the monitor. Then when you feel you have calmed down a little bit go back in there and try to help her calm down. She'll be ok to cry for a little bit while you calm down, but I really don't think crying it out is the best solution for her right now. Just remember...you are not a bad mom. You're tired too I'm sure which doesn't help. Good luck!
Jess, I feel for ya!
I second or third the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book, it worked when I was having the same problem with Cohen at 8 or 9 months. The biggest thing is having a schedule. She could actually be having 2 or 3 naps. The book would say to put her to bed earlier (we did 7:00), and use a bedtime routine (like bath, books/rocking). Part of this is letting her cry it out, but you can pick her up after an hour and then try again if she doesn't fall asleep. Then for naps, put her down only about an hour after she wakes up, so like 9am. The book says 9am, 1pm, and an afternoon nap if needed.
Be strong, it will get better :) Good luck Jess!
So not fun!! I dont really know what advice I can give... so just take it for what it is... I agree with Catlyn on the book... my sister swears by it. As far as my girls they had 2 naps a day till about 15 months or so. Then we put them to bed around seven. I know it sounds crazy but in that book it says the more they sleep the more they will sleep. If that makes sense. She is probably just too exhausted. I would maybe try keeping her on a schedule. Whether you have her or someone else I would put her down at the same time everyday. It's amazing the difference in my kids attitude when they know whats coming from one thing to the next. It makes them happier! And I dont think it matters at all if it's with you or someone else. I would just be as consistant as possible.
Anyways... there you have my advice! HA! Take it for what it is! You are not a bad mom!! Trust me this is not the first time you will feel like that!! It just comes with the territory!! Good luck!
Vent away! I always put Mason to bed with a bottle (bad, I know) for this very reason, otherwise he'd just scream himself to sleep. Does she fall asleep in the car?? Maybe you need to take a long afternoon drive so you can both get a break :)
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better and try not to stress too much...and like I say with Mason, God made them so dang cute so we wouldn't beat them. Good luck - you're a great mommy!
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